Blogging to slow temporarily

For the next couple weeks I will be traveling and sometimes out of range of an Internet connection. So posting will be infrequent, but I have a couple things prearranged to appear.

Walter, a fraternal twin to Joe Biden?

My Dad, who holds out hope for President Obama to get things turned around, listened to the State of the Union speech (I skipped it to watch a miserable Red Wings hockey game). After watching the vice-president for an hour or so he noted a similarity between the Jeff Dunham character, Walter, and Joe Biden.

Too true to be funny

Overheard in the Newsroom had this gem:

#2830: Managing Editor, admiring a rival newspaper: “Any chance we can hire their guy to do our layouts?” Art Director: “You laid him off last year.”

A story of a really high pay wall, with really low results

Newsday (corrected from original version) has had very poor results with its pay wall. Only 35 subscriptions since it was instituted. There's a little more to the numbers than that, but still pretty grim. People have become far too used to free news content. (Hat tip to Jan for the link).

A little CBS report to get your blood warm on a cool morning

Remember the Copenhagen Climate Summit? You know, the one that accomplished nothing. Well, the bill came due recently and CBS News did a great job of breaking down the costs of the travel and lodging of the dozens of Democrats, Republicans, State Department, White House and other bureaucrats, many who brought spouses, who attended.

It's good to know that while many folks in this country are suffering and having trouble putting food on the table, that there is plenty of pork to eat in Washington.

Rocks in the hubcaps

Most folks know that I love good police stories, especially quirky, funny ones. I stopped over at AnnArbor.com for my monthly visit and found a column, not unlike the column I started at the Flint Journal in 1990.

This column is written by a retired Ann Arbor detective sergeant and this column was about police pranks. It was pretty good and included a prank about putting rocks in hubcaps of a fellow police officers car. (The graphic with the story showed a fancy wheel - see photo with this post- but not a hubcap. It may be more a factor of young people not knowing what a "hub cap" is). The columnist was referring to an episode at the Milan Police Department that had gotten into the news.

As I have mentioned here before, I worked for two California police departments for seven years before going back to MSU to study journalism.

And as the AA2.com writer said pranks are as much a part of police departments as ticket books.

Here's a few that I remember from my days in uniform.

We had our own firecracker episode at our police department. We had one officer, Paul F, who was very skittish about noises. One night he was sitting at the dispatch desk relieving the dispatcher during her dinner about 3 a.m.

An officer had a stash of firecrackers that he had confiscated in the trunk of his police car. Parking down the street from the police department he snuck up and lit a string of the firecrackers under the dispatcher's window.

Not wanting a good practical joke to go unwatched, several of us had parked nearby and watched as Paul F dove under the desk at the first sound of the firecrackers. He then put out a call over the radio and we all pulled up and fessed up to the joke.

In today's world, that probably could have gotten us all fired. Back then it was just part of the job.

All the police cars were keyed the same, in other words all the car keys worked in all the patrol cars. We had been ordered not to idle the cars (to keep them warm) while we were at lunch or on a call. All of us had duplicate keys and could let the car run while locking it from the outside.

If we found one of our co-workers cars locked and running outside a restaurant and knew that it was out of view of the officer inside, we would often drop off our riding along partners to unlock the car and drive it back to the station. It was always fun to sit in the station to hear the frantic call from the officer trying to explain to the dispatcher that his car had been "stolen."

The high school had a 1/4-mile running track and in the middle of the night we would drive there and do our own version of NASCAR around it with our lights off. That was until a neighbor noticed the cars speeding around the track and called the police department.

From a distance they couldn't tell the racing vehicles were police cars. When the dispatcher put out the call about the racing cars at the high school, one of the officers responded that they were in the area and would check it out. Then they quietly left.

One of our officers used to brag about the gas mileage in his foreign car. Every day he would come to work telling us he was getting 30 or 35 miles to the gallon. So for a month we started adding a gallon or two of gas to his tank every shift.

Each day he would excitedly come to work and brag that he was suddenly getting 40-45-50 miles to the gallon. We, of course, would scoff at him and tell him he was crazy, but the ruse went on.

Finally, after a month of adding gasoline, we started siphoning it out of his car a gallon or two at a time while he was out on patrol. He started coming to work loudly complaining that there was "something wrong" with his car. His mileage had dropped from 50 to 20 and he was not happy.

At the point we found out he took it back to the dealer to complain about his now "horrible" gas mileage, we brought him in on the joke before he did something stupid to the dealer.

More later.

New York Times to install online pay system in 2011

The New York Times seems to be headed towards some financial sanity. The idea that news gathering has value is an important one.

When I was much younger people scoffed at the idea of cable television. "Who would pay for what they already get free?" Well, how did that pan out?

From the time two consecutive editors couldn't adequately answer the questions of how we could give away the Flint Journal content for free many have been frustrated by the devaluation of news gathering.

It's past time to take back the product.

Alice Shultz-Melton, retired FJ librarian, dies at 72

One of the first people I met when I arrived at the Flint Journal in 1989 was a news room librarian named Alice. She explained to me the extensive library and morgue that the newspaper maintained.

At the time there were four employees and an excellent library. The folks who worked in the library were always helpful and made doing story research really easy. She was always a graceful person who survived in a not so graceful environment.

So it was with sadness that I learned that Alice Shultz-Melton died last week. The obituary was published this week. Rest in Peace Alice.

Shultz-Melton, Alice Marie formerly of Flint, MI. Passed away January 20, 2010 in Beaver Dam, KY. She was born August 23, 1937 through the union of Charlie Dee and Mary Alice Shultz in Haiti, KY. Alice graduated from Western High School in Owensboro, KY in 1955. Alice moved to Flint, MI. in 1969. She was married in 1981 to James V. Melton. She was a member of Grace Free Will Methodist Church. She was a board member of My Brothers Keeper. She was employed at The Flint Journal for 30 years as a librarian. She retired in 2000. She lived to cherish one son: Rev. John A. Williams, his wife Tanya; step-son James. V. Melton Jr.; step-daughter Naomi Martin and her husband Clarence all of Flint, MI; 23 grand children, one great-grandchild; one sister Loretta J. Finn and her husband Gilbert, from Beaver Dam, KY; two brothers Charles Wayne Shultz of Louisville, KY and William G. Shultz of Sacramento, CA; four nieces; two nephews. She was preceded in death by her parents and her husband, her step-daughter, three brothers and two nephews. A special thank you to Pastor and sis Campbell and New Life Missionary Baptist Church of Flint, MI. Services are at 12 noon Wednesday at Barnes Chapel United Methodist Church, Beaver Dam, KY. Burial will be in Oakwood Cemetery, Hartford, KY. Miller - Schapmire Funeral Home is in charge of arrangements.

Working my beat, looking for ladies walking the street

As a fan of "Overheard in the Newsroom" the following entry brought back a couple memories. First the entry: "#2776: Layout Designer: “When’s that story going to be done?” Crime Reporter: “The one on prostitutes? The research is getting expensive.”

During the 1990s we had a series of homicides involving prostitutes, many of them working on Dort Highway.

My editor, Roger, asked that I go find a prostitute working on the street and see if I could get a comment about whether they were fearful of the recent series of homicides and if they knew any of the working women who had been killed.

So there I was driving north and south on Dort like any regular John looking for a hooker. There were certain spots where they hung out, usually places with an easy access to motorists, like an abandoned store parking lot.

The women would appear and disappear almost as quickly as you were able to turn around and try to talk to them.

Finally, I spotted a would be worker and pulled up next to her, identified myself and asked her if I could simply interview her for a minute. For a Dort Highway hooker, this lady looked pretty nice, but she was not interested in an interview.

Finally after several attempts to get a comment, she leaned in and said "you're messing up our decoy sting, Jim, I'm a cop?" Should have known by the lack of needle sticks in her arm and the fact she was attractive.

Later, my cop sources at the Flint Police Department had a good laugh at my expense as they recounted my conversation with the decoy that they had been listening to over the wire worn by the female police officer. No doubt some of them were salivating over the potential of arresting a Flint Journal reporter on a soliciting charge, but were disappointed when they discovered I was only looking for a comment not something else.

So my patrols began again, this time I found a "real" prostitute, but she insisted that I was costing her money by being parked next to her and asking questions. She said I either had to pay the equivalent for a "session" or get away from her.

When I told her I couldn't pay her for the interview, she told me "I could use some cigarettes." I found out what brand she smoked and went to the nearby 7-11 to buy her a "gift" of cigarettes. In my own mind I justified the "gift" as different from a cash payment for the interview. Probably a bad decision.

By the time I returned about 10 minutes later, she was gone. My patrol continued and about 20 minutes she was back at her spot. So I gave her the packs of cigarettes and she gave me an anonymous statement on how "a girl had to work" and that she wasn't worried about any killer because she had a pretty regular clientele that she knew and trusted.

Then she let me know that I had overstayed my cigarette bribe.

Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction contest rides again

Some people wait for their favorite awards shows, The Golden Globes or The Academy Awards, but for me I like the annual Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction contest sponsored by San Jose State University.

Sometimes called the "It was a dark and stormy night...contest" the judges honor the worst opening book lines that people submit. Even I once entered with a dramatic opening that I had actually witnessed at a crime scene outside the Carriage Town Mission in Flint.

My line, which did not win, but got an honorable mention postcard from the judges was:

"Beer mixed in the blood oozing from the knife wound in the drunk's abdomen was so fresh that it still had a head on it."

A detective at the scene pointed out to me that the bubbles I saw in the gutter was actually the fresh beer foam that was leaking from the victim's belly. The fight, as I recall some 15-20 years later, was over a 40-ounce bottle of beer two drunks were trying to share.

Man was I wrong

Guess that Senate seat in Massachusetts doesn't actually belong to the Kennedy family or the Democrats. I'm not one that tends to believe media hype and this result may have been a combination of voter remorse, but also a factor of a really, really bad Democrat candidate.

Next time, learn your baseball Martha. President Obama invested his own political clout in the race by going there at the last minute, so he has to be a little upset today. CNN said last night that Obama won Massachusetts a year ago by 26 points. That's a stunning reversal by any one's estimation.

That said, my candidate, Joseph Kennedy, the only Kennedy running for Kennedy's seat, trailed badly. My dream of a growing, influential third party, remains just a dream.

The Daily Show on the Massachusetts race

While I still think it's a pretty long shot that the Republican will win in Massachusetts, The Daily Show reminded me last night why I love to watch.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Mass Backwards
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

First the layoffs, now the hiring

Just a couple weeks ago we reported the pending layoffs at Booth newspapers on the west side of the State. Today comes this ad. Hard to know if this is cutting too deeply, or getting rid of the high-priced help and replacing it with lower paid, part-time help.

Hoping for the 'Kennedy' to pull out Massachusetts race

I keep hearing how the Massachusetts seat up for grabs is a "Kennedy" seat. Forget that it belongs to the people, but if it is truly a Kennedy seat, I'm hoping for a win for the only 'Kennedy' in the race, Joseph L. Kennedy, an independent candidate. That is one of those hope, beyond hope things.

What is really startling is that this is a race at all. Massachusetts is a pretty liberal state. But today, President Obama is leaving the White House, the tragedy in Haiti and concerns over terrorists to go there an campaign for the Democrat who was at one time 31 points ahead.

She hasn't helped herself with Palinesque gaffes like "there are no Taliban/terrorists left in Afghanistan."

Not to mention offending Roman Catholics in a State full of them.

But the really big gaffe had nothing to do with national or foreign policy, it has to do with the Boston Red Sox. During a radio interview Ms. Martha Coakley referred to legendary Boston Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling as a "Yankee fan."

I can assure you, knowing Boston like I do, that this will not go down well. It was Schilling who courageously pitched the Red Sox to a key World Series game win over the St. Louis Cardinals with blood oozing out of his sock. It is a moment trapped in Boston lore and that frankly anyone in Massachusetts should know instictively.

Schilling who is backing the Republican candidate, Scott Brown, had this to say on his blog:

“I’ve been called a lot of things...But never, and I mean never, could anyone ever make the mistake of calling me a Yankee fan. Well, check that, if you didn’t know what the hell is going on in your own state maybe you could….”

I still think it's an uphill battle for anyone but a Democrat to win such a major seat in Massachusetts, but the fact that it is even this close should give some pause to the Democrats.

Pat Robertson, Danny Glover: When saying nothing sometimes makes good sense

Two lunatic versions on the disaster in Haiti:

Danny Glover (about two minutes in seems to blame global warming for the earthquake)



Pat Robertson blames the earthquake on a pact with the devil

Remembering the warriors today

'Til the Last Shot is fired' with Trace Adkins and the U.S. Army Glee Club.

Funafuti: A place of peace, a place I want to go

When I was a boy, my late stepfather Ray used to reminisce about a place he visited during World War II.

Ray was a Navy pilot, but from what I could glean from our rare discussions, not a combat one. He flew PBYs, a large plane equipped to land and take off on water. He visited all the hot spots, including Guadalcanal, but always after the islands were secured by Marines and Army units.

He had a Navy friend, Frank Ferguson who used to stop by our house in La Crescenta and they would talk about their war experiences. I was always fascinated by their talks. But one place they talked about that stuck with me was Funafuti.

Funafuti, the capital city of the Tuvalu atoll, was a small Navy base that both Frank and my stepfather had visited. When they spoke of Funafuti they would light up. It was obviously a place of fond memories.

When my stepfather would become frustrated with the routine and not-so-routine challenges of life he would often say: "God, I wish I was back on Funafuti."

For some reason I woke up thinking about those discussions between Frank and Ray in our living room in the early 1960s (Frank died of cancer in the 1960s). So thanks to Google I found out a little about the island nation.

According to the Funafuti travel website, (the chart for population and acreage is reversed) the island nation, one of the newest members of the United Nations, has a population of a little over 9,000 (as of 2002 census). Half of the population of the country lives in the capital city of Funafuti. The group of small islands are a part of a former volcano rim in the middle of the Pacific Ocean and it looks like it is only a couple city blocks wide in many places.

You can't find flights on Expedia, Priceline or any of the usual travel sites and it appears only Air Pacific flies there and only a couple days a week. I couldn't find a price or even an airport to fly from (there are no flights from any American airport to Funafuti listed on any travel site I checked).

There are 5-6 hotels, with the largest having 12 rooms. One motel has three rooms and a daily rate of $80 (Australian). There are wonderful excursions for the few travelers who do come there.

God, I wish I was on Funafuti, and I've never been there.

Cougar versus bear cub, with a little help the cub wins

This was pretty cool.

What I've learned from Addisen

Last night I went to the Detroit Red Wings versus Carolina Hurricanes hockey game at Joe Louis arena. It was a great game, Wings won 3-1, but one of the highlights of the night had nothing to do with hockey, but with Sesame Street.

During a television time-out, the arena reporter picked out a 7-year-old girl to answer questions on the big jumbotron about Sesame Street. If she answered the questions correctly she would win a 4-pack of tickets to a live Sesame Street show coming to Detroit.

So I aced the first two old-school Sesame Street questions (where does Oscar the Grouch live? and who is Ernie's friend?) or at least I think those were the first two questions.

But the last question would have been a game ender for me, except for my granddaughter, Addisen.

The question: "Who is the wanna be fairy in training on Sesame Street?"

Even before they flashed the multiple choice answers on the screen, I yelled out: "I know this, it's Abby Cadabby!"

That brought several stares from the assorted jock types sitting near me. One young man, who was wearing a Shanahan jersey, turned around from his seat right in front of me and asked how I could know such a thing.

"It pays to have a 3-year-old granddaughter," I said. Heck we've got the Abby Cadabby movie, the book and probably an action figure or two in our house.

So I spiked the ball on that one. But I'll probably have to reapply for my man card soon.

Dad finds a winner in the Washington Post

My father, a resident of Virginia, is a voracious reader of newspapers. He loves his newspaper delivered and in hard copy. But he is also one of the best copy editors I have ever known. Some people have that copy editor's eye, the one that catches the smallest detail, and others don't.

My Dad has that eye.

But it didn't take too much detail to discover the mistake he found in this police brief in the Washington Post:

"Here's another reason why I look forward to reading the morning paper. There is a brief news item in the Post this morning about a woman being hit by a dump truck while standing on the side of the road near Leesburg.

The second paragraph identified the woman as Martha Johnson, 45, of Leesburg who left her vehicle. Paragraph five states, The woman's identity is being withheld pending notification of her family. If her family reads the Washington Post, they've got the identity information already!"

Been there, done that.