More philosophy from Red

In honor of my father-in-law his two daughters and sons-in-laws wore special t-shirts to the USS Arizona Memorial in Pearl Harbor last month. The t-shirts were designed and made by my step-son, John. The color red was picked because of my father-in-law's nickname and the KB2FME lettering was his HAM radio call sign, so a tip to his favorite hobby. The picture was taken in the room where the names of the dead sailors are inscribed on the wall.

Also, while we were gone, the other daughter, Patty, continued her quest through his many journals. Here's the latest installment. Many of these are from before the time he was sick.

"I don't worry much, but i fret much more"

"Opposites attract but are not compatible"

"Every day you learn something new about yourself"

"Make yourself happy, for the moment"

"Everyday is a good day as long as you are breathing"

"Aging is when your farther from the beginning and closer to the END."

"The older I get, the more Philosophic I get"

"Parents ruin more children than any other source"

"What I need most in life I never got" (Perhaps a reference to his mother leaving him when he was just a baby)

"I don't know where I'm going but I sure know where I'm going to end up"

"All the problems of life are man made"

"Time alone is to please no one but yourself"

"By the time you smartin' up, you're dead"

"I'll survive until I die"

"Dont' wake up mad, it's a long day"

"Being a nothing, I wish I never existed"

"I whine because the Beer isn't Cold"

"If you look at twins, one always looks older than the other"

"Money is only a problem when you don't have it. Relations are only a problem when you have them"

"Patience is a virtue. Patience is also virginity"

"It all has to do with nothing"

"If you can't remember it, forget it"

"The reason most comics get divorced is because their wives laugh at them"

"Dieing is no way to live"

"God, self and others"

"If I wake up, I hope it's 6AM"

"It's locust time for the politicians"

"We're all an island onto ourselves"

"Life is never dull, we make it so"

"Willie wouldn't be Willie if he wasn't"

"God made man, then he goofed"

"Tis easier to receive than transmit" (A HAM reference)

"What am I doing? Reneging food for thought"

"That person's seen both sides of the dam. That person's been on both sides of the dam."

"What don't work, I shall try again"

"People go from one bad habit to the next"

"I have been, so I am eternal"

"It's almost impossible to get to be 60 years old and not enjoy some parts of life"

"Why Criticism? Criticism is a compliment: it shows that you have done something too important for a critic to ignore."

"Diane fainted- she was shot from the shot" (flu shot story reference)

"Peace is the time, when the kids go to bed and before the parents go to bed"

More to come.

Red Uleskey: 'I wish I did what I didn't do'

As mentioned before many of my father-in-law Red’s sayings grew a little darker as his health deteriorated. Not having faced my own imminent approaching death it is hard for me to understand some of them.

One thing Red began urging us to do a few years ago was to retire as soon as you could and then once retired front load your retirement with travel, fun and adventure. He expressed regret that he spent the first years, his healthy retirement years, staying too close to home believing there would always be time for the adventure. "There will be plenty of time to sit at home," he would advise us.

When his body failed him, the time and chance for adventure was over. In June 2008, when we took a cruise to Alaska, Red was very disappointed that his health prevented him from joining us. Especially since all three daughters and sons-in-law and two granddaughters were on the trip.

There also seemed to be a wistfulness about what his life had meant and what good he had done. So here are the latest installments of Red’s sayings.

I wish I did what I didn’t do.

Age is a huge boulder it’s going to crush you.

Sing when you can, you never know when you’ll lose your voice.

Life’s all about what’s happening this very moment.

It’s nice to get older, you don’t have to remember.

It’s tough to get to 72 it’s a lot tougher if you don’t. (He was 85 when he died)

God let me live long enough to get tired of life.

Death is the only solution to life.

If you never lived, you’re already dead.

I don’t expect much out of life, but I get less.

I didn’t think it was important until it hurt.

There’s little in life that’s real.

I don’t get headaches, I have them.

I guess I’m reasonably unhappy.

You’re only young once, but can be insipient forever.

You learn something every day but you don’t get smarter.

Misstakes make you feel imperfect. (Misstakes misspelled incorrectly on purpose)

Thing built today should last for an eternity.

We have everything, but we have nothing.

Life without love is an empty grave.

One of the worst things about life is that some people are dead and don’t know it.

(Red, a married man for 61 years to Joan, often wrote of love):

It is very difficult to love someone without loving them.

If you want somebody to love you, it better be yourself.

I love more than I despise.

Love is giving.

Then just a few quips for good measure:

He is about as handy as a left-handed snake.

I’m going to wake up sober in the morning but I hope wiser.

I don’t need money, I need some cents.

(There was much discussion in the last years of Red’s life about grave markers. Red wanted his free veteran’s marker for his grave, but his wife, Joan, insisted that she did not want any kind of a marker.
She became known in the family as: “No stone Joan” because of that decision. So buried in Red’s book was this little gem):

Here lies ‘No Stone Joan’ and ‘Stoned John.”

More to come

More wisdom and wit from Red Uleskey

More of my father-in-law Red’s private journal jottings as discovered by my sister-in-law Patty. Some of these are sooo good. We’re going to put them into a self-published book once we mine all the books that Red put them in. Again, some of them obviously deal with his declining health and advancing age, but others are just his own reflections. Each of them is a delight and a surprise to his family.

"He's as useless as a spare tire on the Goodyear Blimp.”

"I've lived long enough not to be remembered"

"The more you try to change, the more it stays the same"

"God only gives what he wants you to have"

"Life is over when you see the Dead End sign"

"The importance of being No one"

"No life is as full as it should have been"

"I like to worry, it makes me feel good"

"Love is an elusive commodity"

"Glaucoma is hardening of the eyeries"

"It seems as you age, you look forward to summer or death whichever comes first"

"Platonic relations are like a no thank you portion"

"Life is a lot of things but not easy"

"One of the worst things about life is that we take it too seriously"

"As you get older each day you learn a little, forget a lot."

"Death is Life's never happened" (I respectfully disagree with Red on this one)

"Life is the same old story with a different twist"

"Life is precious but short"

"I forgot what never was"

"There's only one perfect person in the world but you"

"Life is a puzzle we some time never figure out"

"History is never tomorrow for you"

"A little bit of life steps on everyone, Thank God its not a size 15EEE"

More to come.

More 'Red' philosophy

My sister-in-law Patty, has continued through a journey through my late father-in-law Red's writings. She has sent me some more gems written in Red's journals.

Some of them are likely related to his failing health in his last year:

"Every day is a good day no matter how bad it is!"

"I'm going to head for the pillow."

"If I faint, don't call the rescue squad, call the firing squad."

"Death solves many problems."

"Had a very restless day (rest-less)."

Then there are those of just a more general wisdom, things he wrote down and kept to himself and his journal:

"If you need someone, you've always got yourself"

"The only woman who truly loves a man is his mother"

"I know everything about nothing"

"Intent often leads to invention"

"I had a pretty good mind but didn't know enough to use it"

"Someone should teach the world what's important"

"You better be true to your teeth or they will be false to you!"

"Popcorn, like snowflakes, no two are a like"

"Appreciate instead of expecting"

"That's the way it goes and its almost, went"

"Taste every crumb of life"

"A tear, if sincere, is as bonding as blood"

"If you live as long as you're going to, you might as well be happy"

"It's later than you blink"

"That's a lot of Noisense" (Red wasn't big on noisy confusion).

"The first step is the wrong direction"

"I was busy doing nothing"

Patty says, more to come.

"That's the way of that!" Sayings by Red Uleskey

In the month since my father-in-law's death, my sister-in-law, Patricia, has been going through one of the many journals kept by Red. While Red was a simple man, he was a deep thinker and often surprised us with his quips and wit.

So we are getting more of an appreciation of him by reading the daily notes he made in his journal. Not all are originals, but sayings that he decided were important enough to write in his book.

Patty hasn't gone very far through the books, but here are a sample of some of our favorites from his most recent writings. Some will require a paragraph or two of set-up so the reader will understand the context.

Some have a hint of poetry, some of great wisdom and some are just funny. Here's a partial early list. More to come.

In his last year, Red was mostly in his wheelchair. One day his three daughters were sitting around him talking with each other about household issues, shopping lists, etc. Suddenly after a long period of time of him listening to the conversation (and wanting to be wheeled into bed) Red, with a wry grin, said:

"Does anyone care about my problem?"

In discussing his future funeral plans Red was talking about the involvement in his plans of his nephew, Patrick, the funeral director.

"We want to see Patrick eye to eye"

In his last year there were many times that family, lots of them, converged on the small Uleskey household. A 900-square-foot tract home with one bathroom things could get crowded. At times groups would leave for shopping trips or to get away. One time Red said this and later wrote it in his book:

"I am glad they are all here but somewhere else."

During his last year, he had a "pic" line inserted into a vein for use in giving medicine and taking blood samples, or something like that. He offered this gem when told he was getting the line.

"We hope the pic line is not in 'vein'"

Sometimes Red took a break in a nice recliner chair in his Ham radio room, a spare bedroom on the first floor, which he called his "shack." One day his three daughters were searching for him and couldn't find him momentarily in the small home. The women were calling out to each other "Where's Dad?" A man's voice called out from the room:

"Where is your father? He's in the shack to be exact."

Red was undone about all the fuss that had to go on around him in his last year. You could tell he often tired of having people running around getting him things, helping him with his clothes, etc. This was what he wrote in his journal:

"There's only one of me and maybe that's one too many."

Another thing he got fed up with was the many pills and medicines he had to take. Thus this little note penned into the book:

"I am all pilled out."

Some of the items need little or no explanation.

"We're lost but we know where we are"

"There's no place like home"

"Mom's late for mammogram - I think we can squeeze it in"

"I can't afford to get frisky, I've got too much money in the bank"

"Only cry when it hurts"

"What's the difference between a yam and a sweet potato, who gives a yam!"

"Too late we get smart"

"Don't follow too close" a quote from a cemetery stone ("I'll live up to it")

"Iraq - frought for naught" (I believe the misspelling was deliberate - a combination of fraught and fought)

"I can fix anything that works"

"It's a women's prerogative to change her mind, that's why the asylums are 90% full of married men!!"

"That's the way of that"

"Love takes sincerity"

"Life is but a matter of time"

"Don't waste your time unless it improves your mind"

"Enjoy the moment, everyone"

"My body got so old it doesn't tell me anymore about aches and pains"

"No one is exempt from being polite"