Friday, March 6, 2009

You never write, you never call, a Facebook divorce

OK, I'm too old to be on Facebook (or so my stepdaughter says) I spend too much time blogging, surfing the web and learning new technological tricks.

No longer is breaking up, "so hard to do."

But one thing I wasn't prepared for was the subtle way you can be dumped on Facebook. When someone no longer wants to be your "friend" they don't have to call, they don't have to write, they simply move the mouse to an "x" and you're cut off.

No more long, emotional phone calls: "I just need some space."

No more writing a "Dear John" letter: "It's not you, it's me."

No more driving by the house in the middle of then night to see who is parked in the driveway. Just kidding, I never did that. Wanted to, but didn't go.

Breaking up on Facebook is simply as easy as clicking an "x."

Recently my "Friends" list shrunk by a couple (it could be more, but I really haven't taken an exhaustive look) people. I know because suddenly I went from 105 friends to 103 friends. Could be someone upset by the blog, I don't know. Or maybe someone died, may they rest in peace.

But how impersonal will it be in the future, or now, that people who call you "friend" can just eliminate you with the click of a mouse. But that's what we're all becoming, faceless friends at the electronic end of the Internet.

So whoever you were, those mysterious departed friends. I think I miss you, but I'm not sure.


Anonymous said...

that's funnny...I run into the same thing...what's even funnier is that we don't know which friend it is which begs the question...were we really that good of friends? I got frustrated with this so I printed off all pages of my friend list so if i lost one, i could find out who it was...

Anonymous said...

I get absolutely inundated by countless requests for various things on Facebook. Amazes me just how much time some people have.

Nathan Seibt said...

I think the problem is that a lot of facebook 'friends' aren't even friends at all. I hardly talk to over half of mine.

So if we can't remember who is no longer our friend, were they really our friend in the first place?

Just something to think about.

mcwflint said...

That anonymous part of Facebook and Linked In drives me crazy. If I know who it is, I will write and ask if I did something wrong just to make sure the air is clear, The reasons can vary - you update too much, you dont interact enough and I'm going through a divorce are some reasons given.

By the way, were some friends not people? You know, a business or a group? A lot of Flint non-people recently created people accounts. Facebook makes organizations and businesses 'fess up and create non-people accounts - pages, groups, etc.

Jan Scholl said...

I wonder why Facebook thinks I might know someone just because a distant friend knows someone. I am always looking for family but have come to the conclusion my family members are too stupid to figure out how to even open an account. That is why they are on MySpace with the teeny boppers and those looking for a hookup.

Now I am back to my virtual garden.

mcwflint said...

What's worse is the dropped friendship coming up in job interviews!

The Sanity Project said...

It is also possible that people have closed their accounts. I know a lot of people who are frustrated with the way Facebook expanded (i.e. opening it up to all instead of just those with college email address, unavoidable application invites, the ease with which people can e-stalk) and are leaving as a result.

Additionally, Facebook is hardly a realistic way to conduct friendship. I know it's tough, but try not to take it too personally.

I love 'The Book', but I don't think it should be take as seriously as people take it. It's a networking website. If you want to manifest true relationships, step away from your computer and go for a walk, take a class, get involved in your community and take ownership of live human contact. It's far more important than being bit by e-zombies.

Anonymous said...

Who cares? really? I have never used "Face Book" and will continue not to use it. I don't feel the need to "hook up" with anyone. I don't need it.

Anonymous said...

Your not to old for Face Book! Your step daughter just does not want to hit on you. Im 38 and I look at facebook all the time. Its a nice way to kill an evening (Facebook that is).

Anonymous said...

Gotta be careful with facebook because an awful lot of information is collected and since most people have sucky passwords, all a really persistent identity theft has to do is crack a few friends' and relatives' pages to get to yours.

Password answers are all over the walls;high school colors, birth city, mother's maiden name, children and pet names. With persistence a person's group affiliations, job site,and home location will show up either on their wall or one of their friends.And when the hacker opens personal messages he's bound to luck into your address, phone number or even your personal email address (you know, the one with the flimsy password)and he's got you.
The days of the disturbed little geek hacker testing his skills,or mad with the world are over.Identity theft is the biggest and most prosperous market for the newer and more dangerous and ruthless criminal mafias out there.

Be glad your 'friends' left;it's safer without them.