Some people wait for their favorite awards shows, The Golden Globes or The Academy Awards, but for me I like the annual Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction contest sponsored by San Jose State University.
Sometimes called the "It was a dark and stormy night...contest" the judges honor the worst opening book lines that people submit. Even I once entered with a dramatic opening that I had actually witnessed at a crime scene outside the Carriage Town Mission in Flint.
My line, which did not win, but got an honorable mention postcard from the judges was:
"Beer mixed in the blood oozing from the knife wound in the drunk's abdomen was so fresh that it still had a head on it."
A detective at the scene pointed out to me that the bubbles I saw in the gutter was actually the fresh beer foam that was leaking from the victim's belly. The fight, as I recall some 15-20 years later, was over a 40-ounce bottle of beer two drunks were trying to share.
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1 comment:
I submitted the Newhouse Job-Security Pledge.
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